Happy birthday in heaven
Another year gone by
As I recount the sentiments
Residual reminders of every year I said goodbye
5 years since you died
Countless are the tears I’ve cried
I hold onto every memory and dwell on you in passing
Knowing you now reside in a place of joy and healing everlasting
Nevertheless I still am captive in this life that is a void
When sight is darkness I’m blinded by the illusion of the absence
Today would’ve been your 68th,
I try to slow down and take into account another thought
When accepting feels like letting go and guilty to think that I forgot
Yet still knowing moving on is okay and what you’d want
My dreams fewer and far between
A part of me longs for my mind to imagine your apparition’s silhouette
Longing for every memory to taunt
To remind me of a place of things unseen
As I exist inside this realm of shadows, this dementia world, and all that time forgets
I’m left here, moment to moment, as I can’t help but relive regret
All the joys of who you were, and my conscience broken for its debt
Robbed it feels, when I think of how you should still be here
Losing my grip on the reality of you as I learn to tolerate death
Tragedy like clockwork, desensitized to all I used to fear
Our reunion exists on the other side of my last breath
Until then I wait and commemorate as I remember
As every memory harbors the fragrance of roses blooming in December
Letters written to keep these thoughts alive
When it becomes a bond of journals and well said sadness
As I go through the motions of just trying to survive
Enchantments reinvented for affections set on madness
I toss and turn, torn between peace of mind and the hearts unrest
When even as my faith is a gift so by suffering I am blessed
When I would never trade a day or a moment to relinquish the ache
This love is worth the pain of loss as I hold onto the burden of heartbreak…
