All's Unwell That Ends Unwell

 
Malfunctioning
Neurological misfiring of pulverized memory
What is the dream and what is reality
Revert back to a time
 
I saw demons in the faces
Of everyone that I loved
Trying to discern the difference between
The motive of the heart in everything said
What is delusion and what is the evidence
Something unseen
Am I alive or am I dead?
 
Memories, farewell down the hallway
Elementary kisses blown
I was safest in the curriculum
There's no place like the books
When everything hits too close to home
 
Skip and my life flashes behind my eyes
Everything centered around you
When I'm still breathing and you're the one who dies
I swear part of me is passing too
 
Glitch splices of Saturday morning cartoons
Bacon crackles against combustible oil splatters
The aroma of fried pig fat for breakfast
Our family most honest in our bedroom attire
Bedhead and bad-breath
Newspaper spreads of dad at the kitchen table
 
Fast forward to Sunday reminiscing
One man's Sunday's best is another man's ass kissing
Like God can't see through the masquerade
To the heart behind our dressed up worship play
And yet no less something honest takes place on such a beautiful day
The way she sang every note and poured out her heart
As mother led and pulled everyone in before the weeks pulled us apart
 
Broken we are as broken we lead and reconstruct
Fractures in my mind as I revisit a time
Yet all's unwell that ends unwell, nevertheless we survive
Nothing matters when all of it fades into the backdrop of the past
I see everything through windows of the soul, but my eyes are a fragile glass
 

Shattered into a thousand pieces
When all I can see and can't see is you
I frame your essence in my mind
Though I am blind to heaven's view
Your presence diminished set to a silent cadence
When I feel like I am deaf-tone to the melody of the day
All I can do is marvel at the color of substance-less beauty
When it all fades away
 
Another time and shadow makes its way in
Like a crack beneath the doorway of this room
I'm locked up within
Remembering, regret and reminiscent
Everything is romantic in death and everyone is innocent
Jump from highlights to darkness
When I remember the beauty through a filter of scars
Darkness surrounding me as I invert the stars
 
To tell you the truth too honest is scary
It takes a good tragedy to tell
With high-hopes for heaven in a living hell
Just tell me what's the best way to say farewell
As I look out over a sea of uncertainty and the waves swell
I breathe the free air and yet inside is a prison cell
Wanderlust of imagination
In a mind sick with sorrows is a memory that serves it well
 
Struggle found us there
When we moved from home to isolation
As every house found us in transition
Shedding the weight of former things
Till we skipped town to surf-side dark ages
And I got lost for the words in the gibberish
When days of night were fragments and torn pages
 
I left home in search of it
On a voyage to the unknown
Based in the inclination of something I thought I knew
Seeking to establish a life of independence
Even as we stayed in touch, I feel as if I forgot about you...