Life As Unusual

 

How do I say what the words won't convey
When I don't feel anything at all
Left in the wake of the silence
Awaiting both the best and worst moments of my life
While caught in routines of life as unusual

Everyday a new report given
Relative perspectives and cloudy points of view
When I'm both caught in the rain and soaking up the sun
Both basking and drowning in the thought of you

In loving memory and unpredictable outcomes
Nothing is certain right now
Everything fluctuates from day to day
When it all feels like a rubix cube
Looking for the signs that lead us back to a state of normalcy

I can't feel the fractures in my broken heart
But the break is making its way into my mentality
Psychological scars stain my eyes with blood when red is my reality

Feeling like I should be on high alert
And yet I've always been one to feel more at home in the chaos
When darkness is familiar and light is uncharted territory
Disappointment is a lesson in expecting nothing more than catastrophe

But I have to fight my inclination to say anything that they don't want to hear
To silence every lie and stifle the pride of honesty, somewhere between love and what I fear

Is overcoming an obstacle a lesson in learning what might make them stumble?
Accepting loss as a part of the game is the only way we still find courage to play
Trivializing the fact that we're at war
Everyone wants an enemy they can defeat

Crucified to repeal consequence
Authoring promise on the premise of adoption
Estranged and raised by the wolves in our own ways
What befalls us, when our lives are made of a dead endeavor?
Death cannot extinguish our hopes when our dreams last forever

Seeking the same God the world has made an enemy of
Speaking of something that they do not know and faking love

A question makes its way from my suspicions to my head
What if we never see the day we're waiting for?
It feels less and less unreasonable to doubt the horizon
I'm left lingering in anticipation without knowing when and if the timing will be right
I got lost in route within the tunnel when I lost sight of the light

Waiting for the best and the worst day of my life
Vows spoken beside better said goodbyes
If only I could see it from where you are
Learning to trust in the vision of what escapes my eyes

Just give me room to breathe
In the midst of the monotony
What's the difference between a paper cut and bullet wound?
On two opposite ends of the end
Caught between the panic, the drama, and the truth
Self-involved we are in our relative view
Maintaining the rotation of the world
Everything is in motion but I am frozen without you...